Back to reality? Yup, my one week rest and relax week gone in a glimpse of an eye and I am back to this tiny place. Why did I ever torture myself you wonder? For survival, that's why. For the many more times I get to bum in another wonderful island, or get to lose myself in another country... that is why!
I tried to relax still but I am getting antsy. On one hand, I need to buck up and get going but on another hand, I couldn't be bothered. So which hand do I follow?
It's my 3rd day back into the familiar world of my childhood. This is the longest trip I have taken back home. Somehow this time does not feel as comforting as it used to be.
Instead I feel more trapped and more lost than ever. I need a direction, someone give me a direction.
I think I am hiding from everything, BUT how long can I hide until I have to creep back into the real world.
Actually I am sick of telling everyone - no worries, I will get a job soon enough cos honestly I have no idea when will I get one or whether I want to get one.
I would like to tell everyone - look... back off! I don't know....
Have you ever felt that you are just walking and walking but everything is a blur? Or that people are just passing by you so fast that they become a blur too?
Honest, I have never felt so lost in my life before.
My last day was suppose to be this coming Wed but due to unforeseen circumstances and the pettiness (if there is such words) of certain people, my last day became last Fri. But I guess it is for a good thing, I am free at last.
Through this, I learn that you always cover your own backside no matter what, be selfish if you need to be but the one that everyone should remember is NEVER judge a book by its cover. Everyone has their own agenda.
Well, now I have a few days to kill before going home to see the family, I wonder what should I do?
So far almost everytime I change my job, I think it will be a new beginning in life for me. But this time, hopefully it will be the case. Moving on, I have been thinking a lot about things in general. I guess starting a blog might hopefully put me back in track with reality.
More importantly, I want to make a change in my life. A change in my life as I am the most important person in my life. If I do love me, if i don't want me to be a better person then who is going to do that for me?
With that said, I hope to put behind my unpleasant experience so far in this part of my life and take it as a life lesson.
Carpe diem!
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